People of Rock Bottom, I am T.R.A.S.H. General Noube, the Deskless, Pilgrim of Top Rock! Until the people of Rock Bottom reassess their loyalties and renounce the Ophidian scourge, Agra will be taking lots of trips to the mirror, my big ogre buddy will devour all your snacks, and I, personally, will eat all your steaks. Oh, and did I mention? We'll replace all your comfy chairs with uncomfortable stools. So, make the right choice, or prepare for a very dark future!

T.R.A.S.H. will not be stopped. The Ophidian horde will be eradicated, and the glory of Top Rock will be restored under the charitable paws of the Alpha Kobold.

Also, join T.R.A.S.H. today, kill Ophidians and get cool rewards!

-If I had a desk this would be from it.
General Noube, Pilgrim of Top Rock

Penned by my hand on Falsday, the 18th of Lexadian, in the year 5 AC.