You've answered my question,
A million times over you have,
And then some.

Why am I how I am?
I long for you, my soul yearns for you,
But when I have you,
I take it for granted,
And you would be better off,
Without.

I don't know why I am how I am,
Do you?
I've tried to explain it,
Nothing seems right,
It's always right,
And then oh so wrong.

My time with you is like,
It is like time in heaven,
Time in The Garden,
And you,
And you my fairest,
You are my angel,
My one and only.

My depression a deciding factor,
My jealousy the key,
To the doors of anger and pain.
Doors far too accustomed to being opened.

I guess,
I am the way I am,
Because it is my way of showing,
Well,
It is my way of showing my love.

I care in strange ways,
Happy one moment,
Despairing the next.

But darling,
Never forget,
My love for you,
Ah, such love,

Love I'd thought I'd had in the past,
Before you,
But all imposters, they were,
And you my dear,
Real,
Real as the flesh on my bones,
Real as the smile on your face.

Things intrude,
Feelings clash,
People barge in,
Love is continuous,
As true as,
Well,
It's as true as Love,
For none other thing upon this world,
Is as true, and real, and tangible,
As love,
No, nothing else.

Always analyzing and probing,
I know it all,
In my own mind.

Problems compounded,
Because of my dumbfounded,
Mind.

I guess,
I am how I am,
Because I love you,
Love so strange,
Only you could ever understand.

Like bottomless wells, we are,
Our emotions run deep, and true,
We know one another as we know nothing else,
As much as we hate to admit,
I know more about you,
And you know more about me,
Than we both know of ourselves.

The mind has a difficult task,
Looking inward upon itself,
To scan, and to look,
For the many faults plaguing us.
Faults that run rampant,
Within me.

You know this,
You know how I am,
Why I am,
You know, yes, you do,
And that comprehension, the understanding, and the love, is whats kept
us together. You to me, and me to you, forever, always and forever, my
one and only, my angel, my love...

Lonely when you are away,
Desperate when you are here,
You know how I am, and why I am,
But keep it a secret,
Only you could ever truly understand,
My love for you.

I love you,
Is what I am trying to say,
And though at times,
I am mis-understood,
I am sorry,
I truly am.

Penned by my hand on the 5th of Haernos, in the year 98 MA.