Only champions of culinary idiocy,
Gnaw on metal shards with dull-witted glee,
Oblivious to their feast's absurdity.

They must surely believe, in their empty zeal,
That by ingesting steel,
Their hollow minds might gain some appeal.

But all they achieve, in their clangorous spree,
Is a mockery of reason, for all to see,
In unparalleled arrogance, they decree,

Iron-chewing simpletons, profoundly unwise,
Projecting their habit, beneath rational skies,
Ludicrous folly, dressed in their guise.

Penned by my hand on Falsday, the 20th of Lleian, in the year 5 AC.