I raise this blade unto my heart,
But I cannot take the life
From me, I cannot plunge
That final step I've yet to fall
In my Descension.
You used to have to beg me
Not to end my life,
You used to have to coax
The blade to leave my hands,
And now I cannot coax
The final fall.
I no longer care to die,
And yet there's nothing
Left to live for, no one worth
My thought or time.
Life a mixture
Of time and thought,
And we live for each other
And not for ourselves,
But when no one earns my
Time or thought,
Living is wasted on what,
Myself? I never lived for myself,
And by gods I do not now,
So what am I doing here
Waiting? I told you I wouldn't leave ...
I told you I'd never go ...
Is it just that oath that holds me here?
You wouldn't want me to think
That way, don't think you'd say,
Just find yourself, find yourself ...
I cannot plunge this blade in,
Have no feeling left for it,
Just feel like I should do something
About my lack of reasons
To remain.
Causes are worth my voice and
Sword, but those behind them
Break that worth,
What is there for me to do?
But wait for you,
Pray that you remember me
Before I turned on all I knew.
Wish I could interest
In ending my life,
But it's too late and I remain,
Your gift your curse
Forever driving on the game
That is my life just shadows
In stagnation, let this fire burn
Out and let me rot, but I cannot
Turn away.
Damn this knife, damn this blood
I will not draw,
Damn my own Descension,
My own fault.
Only we can take our mortal lives
Final and complete, only we
Can destroy ourselves
And like you and our world as a whole,
A downward spiral of mistakes
And I the greatest one,
I have wrought this upon myself,
And now I am falling from the Temple's
Stairs, so near to the Heights
To no avail as I had let my mind
Throw me down.
And now Descended I stand,
In my Descension I wait,
Someone give me a Reason
Why I choose to remain!

Penned by my hand on the 15th of Slyphian, in the year 80 MA.