Sapience and Kobolds everywhere!

We, the battle-hardened members of T.R.A.S.H., bravely stormed the dastardly, gross, and kinda evil Ophidian lair earlier this week. With the help of our numerous and heroic Spirean allies, codenames Grumblefrown, Honey Cruncher, Rubble Rouser, and Slightly Less Flammable Distraction, we struck a deep blow to our oppressors.

Using secret Spirean techniques (which we can't tell you about because they're super-secret), we infiltrated deep into their warren. There, a heated battle took place with Stl'frim, the Ophidian War Chief, where they had to reveal their secret! Turns out, they have a loose alliance with Bloodlocha"ka the city of worms, or whatever. That's just what all my friends call them. The worms wriggled their way to their allies, but we managed to crush all opposition, slaying Stl'frim and Yettave, the balding minotaur, a lot. In a last-ditch effort to stop us, they released a swarm of mutated Ophidian-Kobold hybrid assassins, but we battled our way out of the cave system. We even took a break for a post-battle picnic before heading back to our city victorious!

-I still don't have a desk
T.R.A.S.H. General Noube

Penned by my hand on Tisday, the 4th of Slyphian, in the year 5 AC.