I know you told me to quit talking shit about myself
But for now, it's that or the bottles on the shelf
I wish I could get better like you need
I've been fighting hard, I've been planting the seeds of change

Now I understand why you had to let go
Im learning to break from the things that I dont show
I swear Im still here, but I'm struggling to care
I know you hate that blank, empty stare

I started smoking again, and I can't defend it
I remember that you hated the smell
And I won't pretend that I don't feel bad
Even though you're not around

Ill keep on pushing, even when I fall down
Keep my head above the water, and try not to drown
I'm pissed at these chains, Ill try to break free
Hoping one day you'll be proud of me

Penned by my hand on Tisday, the 18th of Ivolnos, in the year 6 AC.