Attention to all you overgrown beanpoles and you lumbering Trollish nose-pickers!

The Holy Impire hereby declares its unwavering commitment to SWEEP, because nothing says "don't mess with us" like a catchy acronym. And to prove just how IMPortant we are to the cause, I have declared a new training regiment to IMProve our warriors shall take place immediately!

For too many centuries, the Kingdom has been the place your cities have sent your weakest to 'train' in our lands through the taking of innocent Imp lives. But surprise! This was all part of my very IMPressive master plan to lull you all into a false sense of security. We got you good! Almost as funny as our own Lady of Mischief's grand joke, playing a prank on you all pretending She is dead even as She still answers loyal Imp prayers! When Khepri finally yells "Gotcha!", we'll be ready to laugh and show Her just how tall Her Impire has grown!

Therefore, by decree of me, Queen Empress Dami, Supreme Ruler of All Things Tiny and Terrible, First of Her Name and Last Thing You'll Ever See Before You Trip and Fall, the Holy Impire of Sehal is beginning conscription of all able-bodied Imp citizens in the Kingdom. All citizens are to report to Nido, our chief warrior, immediately for training.

We are likewise recruiting able-bodied adventurers to assist in the training of our budding warriors. Don't worry, we won't discriminate against your height, so even tallfolk are welcome. Just be prepared to duck... a lot. Talk to Nido for details.

To our SWEEP allies: fear not, for an attack on one is an attack on all.

P.S. We've booby-trapped this entire message. By reading this far, you've already fallen into our trap.

Signed,
Queen Empress Dami
First Empress of the Holy Impire

Penned by my hand on Falsday, the 23rd of Chakros, in the year 6 AC.