Yip yip yip!

It's me, Boube! I wrote some laws to help everyone make good, healthy brocklis,
but also to help identify SUSPICIOUS and BAD broccolis so you don't accidentally
eat them or bring them into Enorian. It's really important to make sure you
identify bad broccolis before they can ruin everything because maybe some angry
Spirean poisoned a broccoli and is trying to feed it to you to get back at you
because they're mad at you because they don't like happy or something and then
they're trying to poison you so you turn into a plague monster like the
Projanitor raised or something so here are all the rules to help everyone make
good healthy brokclis and make sure you catch the suspicious or bad brocklis
also we'll have to tell them they're doing great so they'll feel good about
themselves okay remember all of these rules because there is a big fine attached
to getting one of them wrong okay?


LAW-RULE NUMBER ONE: The Broccoli Sunshine Act
Yip yip, yooray for the sun! This law says that every broccoli needs to get its
fair share of sunshine every day before we go to morning prayer. Just like you
and me, broccoli love to bask in the warm, golden rays. So, every morning before
we go to morning prayer, let's take our green pals outside or put them by a
sunny window. We'll sing a little sun song, do a little sun dance, and watch our
broccolis soak up all that good light. And if it's cloudy, don't worry, we'll
tell it to be sunny instead. And also we'll just use a bright fire to keep our
broccolis smiling. That's cause a sun-kissed broccoli is a happy broccoli
blessed by Lord Celery, and that's just the way we like it!

RULE-LAW NUMBER TWO: The Green Floret Decree|177}en Floret Decree
Now, listen up, because this one's important. The Green Floret Decree is all
about keeping our broccoli the right shade of green. Not too pale, not too dark,
just the perfect, happy green that makes you think of fresh grass and springtime
leaves. We'll feed our broccolis with the best soil, give them clean water, and
tell them they're doing great. If we see a broccoli looking a bit off-color,
we'll give it some extra love and care. And every time we see that perfect
green, we'll shout YIP!! and do a great big dance. We heckin love green brockli
so there might be another rule that says it's gotta be green cause it's real
important purple brockli is suspicious.

LAW-RULE NUMBER THREE: The Scorpion's Companion Broccoli Regulation
Yip yip, it's no secret that scorpions and broccoli are the best of friends.
This law makes sure that every scorpion has a broccoli buddy to hang out with.
We'll introduce them gently, let them get to know each other, and soon they'll
be inseparable. We'll make sure our scorpions are gentle with the broccolis, and
we'll teach the broccolis not to tickle or tire the scorpions too much. They'll
go on adventures together, share secrets, and be there for each other. And at
the end of the day, they'll snuggle up and dream happy dreams. Everyone needs a
friend, even scorpions and broccolis.

LAW-RULE NUMBER THREE: The Happy Shape Broccoli Mandate
This one's all about the shape of our broccolis. We want 'em happy-shaped, which
means big, fluffy, and round like a cloud. No sad, droopy broccolis allowed
here. We'll trim 'em just right, so they're looking their best. And if a
broccoli's feeling a bit flat, we'll cheer it up with a sprinkle of water and
sunshine. We'll have contests to see whose broccoli has the happiest shape, with
prizes for all. And every time we see a broccoli in that perfect happy shape,
we'll give a big "yip yip" cheer. You see, a happy-shaped broccoli is a joy to
see and even better to eat!

LAW-RULE NUMBER FIVE: The Verdant Vigor Law
ALSO ALSO ALSO, the Verdant Vigor Law is all about keeping our broccolis full of
life and energy. We want 'em bursting with vigors, ready to take on the world.
We'll sing 'em songs of strengths, tell 'em tales of heroic veggies, and feed
'em the finest nutrients. We'll exercise 'em with gentle breezes and the
occasional dance-off. Don't worry if your broccoli's feeling a bit weak, you can
remind it of its inner strength. We'll celebrate the most vigorous broccolis
with a parade in their honor. And we'll all join in, shouting YIPPEE for our
vibrant, lively broccolis.

RULE-LAW NUMBER SIX: The Suspicious Stalks Prohi bitchin Order
NEXT LAW: The Suspicious Stalks Prohi bitchin Order. This one's simple: if a
broccoli stalk looks odd, like it's up to no good, we're gonna keep an eye on
it. Lean real close so you can put your eye on it, don't be afraid, it won't
make your eye sick. We don't want any stalks causing trouble in our gardens or
on our plates. If you see a stalk that's looking a bit shifty, maybe hiding in
the corner or whispering to the cauliflower, give it a friendly "yip yip" and a
pat. We'll talk to it, find out what's going on, and help it get back to being a
good, happy broccoli. No stalk left behind, that's our motto! And remember, a
suspicious stalk today could be tomorrow's happiest veggie, with just a little
love and care. OR we can set it on fire and show its ashes to the next
suspicious broccoli. Be good or be dead, vampire broccolis.

LAW-RULE NUMBER SIX AND A HALF: The Broccoli Benevolence Bylaw
Next up, we've got the Broccoli Benevolence Bylaw. This law is all about
kindness to our green buddies. Every day, we're gonna say nice things to our
broccoli, like how green and fluffy they are. We'll make sure they've got enough
water, good soil, and plenty of friends around. If a broccoli looks a little
down just tell it a joke or sing it a song or tell it a story like one of Lady
Memory's stories about the Brightswords. You see when we're kind to our
broccoli, they're kind right back, giving us the tastiest treats. So, let's all
be benevlient to our broccolis, and they'll be benevlient to us. Yip yip,
kindness grows the best veggies!

LAW-RULE NUMBER SEVEN: The Scaly Friend Scorpion-Friendly Statute
Now, for the scorpions. The Scaly Friend Scorpion-Friendly Statute is here to
make sure our scorpion pals feel right at home among the broccoli. We'll build
little scorpion-friendly spots in our gardens, where they can hang out with the
broccolis. We'll teach the broccolis to be gentle with their scaly friends, and
the scorpions to be kind to the broccolis. They'll have playdates, share meals,
and maybe even nap together. DO! NOT! FORGET! TO! GIVE! THEM! BLANKETS!!! It's
all about friendship and harmony in our happy garden. Yip yip, scorpions and
broccolis, best friends forever!

LAW NUMBER EIGHT: The Emerald Edibles Edict
The Emerald Edibles Edict is all about that beautiful green color we love in our
broccolis. We want them emerald, like little jewels on our plates. We'll feed
them the best stuff, make sure they get lots of sunshine, and talk to them about
happy things. If a broccoli's not quite emerald yet, we won't give up. We'll
give it extra care, maybe a little pep talk, and soon enough, it'll be the
greenest, happiest broccoli in the land. And every time we see that perfect
emerald shade, we'll shout a big, joyful YIP YIP!!! because that's the color of
happy, healthy eating.

RULAW NUMBER NINE: The Tasty Treat Treaty
Also also don't forget that also we got The Tasty Treat Treaty. This law says
that every broccoli should be a tasty treat. We'll cook 'em just right, not too
soft, not too crunchy. We'll season them with love and maybe a sprinkle of salt.
We'll try new recipes, share them with friends, and have broccoli tasting
parties. When broccoli tastes good, it makes everyone happy. And if you find a
recipe that makes your broccoli extra tasty, you've gotta share it with
everyone. Yip yip, here's to delicious broccoli treats for all! Please also
remember that if you don't share tasty broccolis you get your fingers cut off.
Sorry, I don't make the rules. Except this one.

LARULE NUMBER TEN: The Wholesome Florets Framework
Alrighty, everyone, it's time for The Wholesome Florets Framework! This law is
all about making sure our broccoli florets are the best they can be. We're
talking SUPER big, SUPER green, and SUPER full of goodness. Every day, we'll
check on our florets and give them a little "yip yip" of encouragement. We'll
water them, sing to them, and maybe even read them a bedtime story. If a floret
looks a little sad, we'll give it extra love until it perks right up. We want
our florets so wholesome that they make you smile just looking at them. And when
we see a floret that's grown up strong and healthy, we'll have a little
celebration with our scorpion pals, because happy florets mean a happy garden!

RULAW NUMBER ALSO-TEN: The Anti-Evil Veggie Verification
Next up, we've got The Anti-Evil Veggie Verification. Now, we don't want any
broklis that are up to no good. So, this law says we gotta check them to make
sure they're all nice inside and out. If a veggie looks a bit shady, like it's
plotting something, we'll give it a STERN talking to. We'll remind it that being
good is the way to go. We'll have veggie inspectors who are experts in spotting
the good in every veggie. They'll give the all-clear with a big "yip," and we'll
all feel better knowing our veggies are on the side of good. Don't worry, if
your veggie needs help being better, we'll all pitch in, because everyone
deserves a chance to be good. Except vampires.

LAW-RULE NUMBER TEN NEVERMIND ELEVEN: The Nice Nibbles Notion
The Nice Nibbles Notion is all about the taste. We want every nibble of our
broccoli to be nice and yummy. That means cooking them just right, with a pinch
of salt and a dash of love. We'll share our best recipes and have taste tests to
find the nicest nibbles in town. If a broccoli doesn't taste nice, we won't get
mad; we'll just try again. Sometimes, it takes a few tries to get it perfect.
Like all those times you lose a fight and then you win the next one, right? And
when we find that perfect nibble, we'll shout "yippee!!"" and have a feast. This
is because the nicest nibbles make for happy bellies and even happier hearts.

LAW-RULE NUMBER ELEV--TWEL? I DONNO!: The Scorpion Sidekick Safety Standard
Our scorpion friends need love too, so here comes The Scorpion Sidekick Safety
Standard. This law makes sure that our scorpion buddies are safe and sound.
We'll build them little homes in the garden where they can rest their scaly
tails. We'll teach the cute kobold youngster pups and the broccolis to be gentle
with them, cause scorpions are friends, not foes. We'll have scorpion drills,
where we practice being safe and kind. And every time we pass a scorpion safety
check, we'll celebrate with a YIPPEE!!! and a medium-five. When our scorpion
sidekicks are safe, the whole garden is a happier place.

RULAW NUMBER FIFTEEN: The Great Jolly Green Guideline
ALSO ALSO don't forget, we got The Great Jolly Green Guideline. This one's about
keeping our garden a jolly green place. We'll plant new seeds, tell jokes to our
plants, go to morning prayer, and dance in the rain. We'll paint our garden
tools bright colors like purple and dark purple and light purple and gold purple
and purple gold and put up funny signs and put hats on the signs. If a plant is
looking a bit pale, we'll find out why and give it a hug to help it get back to
jolly green. We'll have a Jolly Green Day once a year, where we do something
extra fun in the garden, like have snacks or give blankets to orphans. And every
time we see a new sprout or a happy bug, we'll say YAY for the jolly green life
we're living.

RULAW NUMBER FIFTEEN: The Perfect Pigment Protocol
Yay! The Perfect Pigment Protocol! It's all about color, my friends! This law
says that every broccoli floret needs to be the most beautiful shade of green.
Not too pale, not too darkjust right. We'll give our broccolis plenty of
sunshine, a sprinkle of rain, and maybe a little pep talk. If a floret looks a
bit off-color, we'll say, "Yip hi little buddy, let's get you that perfect green
so you can be happy and beautiful inside and out and also inside!" And when we
see a floret shining like a gem, we'll shout a big YIPPEE!!! and do a little
broccoli dance. A broccoli in the perfect pigment is like a rainbow in our
garden! It's the best!

RULE NUMBER FIFTEEN: The Savory Stems Specification
Now, listen up, for my veggie pals and also everyone else! The Savory Stems
Specification is here to make sure our broccoli stems are top-notch. We want 'em
crunchy, juicy, and bursting with flavor. No wimpy stems allowed! We'll cook 'em
just rightmaybe a quick steam or a gentle sitting. And when we take that first
bite, we'll say, "Yip yip, this stem is perfection like a Lectionadhra!" If a
stem needs a little extra love, we'll sprinkle it with kindness and a dash of
garlic. Remember a happy stem makes for a happy tummy, and that's what we're all
about! We're about a lot of things don't ask questions or else.

RULE NUMBER FIFTEEN: The Healthy Harvest Harmony
Yay for the Healthy Harvest Harmony!!! It's like a broccoli symphony! This law
says that when we harvest our veggies, we'll do it with care and gratitude and
happiness and also happiness and joy. We'll thank the soil, the sun, and even
the worms. Except the worms with tentacles. Every broccoli head will be plucked
gently, like a hug from a friend. And when we gather our harvest, we'll sing a
little harvest song: "Yip yip, thank you, tasty broccoli! Thank you tasty joy!
Thank you for the rain and also for the wain...d. The wind. Thank you for teh
wind. Also yay!" We'll share our bounty with our neighbors, maybe even have a
broccoli party. A healthy harvest means full bellies and happy hearts and yay
for that!

RULAW NUMBER SIXTEEN: The No Nefarious Nature Or Tentacles Notice
The No Nefarious Nature Or Tentacles Notice is all about keeping our garden
safe. We don't want any sneaky creatures or mysterious tentacles causing
trouble. If you see something odd like a shadow lurking or a tentacle wiggling
give it a friendly YIP!!! We'll investigate, maybe even invite it for tea. But
if it turns out to be up to no good, we'll kindly ask it to leave. Our garden is
a place of peace, laughter, and broccoli hugs. And remember, tentacles are only
sometimes welcome, like when they're attached to a best battle buddy's face BUT
NO BROCCOLI TENTACLES EVER EVER EVER.

RULE NUMBER SEVENTEEN-ISH: The Kindhearted Brockli Code
Also don't forget listen up okay listen to this one listen listen this one this
one's listen okay this one is the Kindhearted Brockli Code. It's the golden rule
for our green buddies. This law says that every broccoli, big or small, deserves
kindness. We'll pat their heads, tell 'em they're doing great, and maybe even
share our favorite jokes. If a broccoli looks a little down, we'll lift its
spirits with a broccoli hug. That way we'll pick it up and it'll be higher. And
when we see a broccoli being kind to a ladybug or a worm, we'll say, "Yip yip,
that's the Brockli Code in action!" Kindness grows the best veggies, everyone,
and our garden will be a happy, leafy paradise. We're great role models, like
Nawan!

RULE-LAW-THING NUMBER EIGHTEEN: The Scorpion-Safe Sprouts System
Yip yip, it's time to talk about keeping our little sprouts safe for our
scorpion buddies. This law is all about making a special place in the garden
where scorpions can hang out without getting squished or eaten by bigger
scorpions or jerks. We'll make little signs that say "Scorpion Crossing" and
"Tiny Friends Here" so everyone knows to step carefully and NOT EAT OUR
SCORPIONS. We'll teach the sprouts to grow in a way that makes a safe little
home for the scorpions. If a scorpion looks lost, we'll guide it back to the
safe spot with a gentle "yip." And we'll check every day to make sure our
scorpion-safe spots are cozy and welcoming. So when our scorpion friends are
safe, they help keep the garden happy, and that's good for everyone! And what's
good for everyone is good for you, cause you're a someone! I think. Aren't you?
Probably.

NUMBER NINETEEN: The Cheerful Curvature Charter
Alrighty, my green-growing pals, the Cheerful Curvature Charter is all about the
happy shapes of our broccoli. We want our broccoli to grow in fun, wavy, and
round shapes that make us smile. We'll sing happy songs to our broccoli as they
grow, encouraging them to curve in cheerful ways. If a broccoli starts to look a
bit droopy, we'll give it a pep talk and a little shake to a happy tune. We'll
have contests for the cheeriest-shaped broccoli, with everyone shouting YIP!!!
for their favorites. And at the end of the day, we'll tell stories about how our
broccoli got its curves. Remember a cheerful curve on a broccoli means a
cheerful curve on our faces! That means smile. Unless you don't got a mouth. Do
tree people got mouths? Can tree people smile?

NUMBER TWENTY I THINK: The Proper Picking Principle
Next let's chat about the Proper Picking Principle. This law's got to do with
the colors of our veggies. We want them all to be bright and happy colors, like
the sun shining down on a perfect day. We'll mix up some good soil and water to
help our veggies glow with lovely colors. If a veggie looks a bit dull, we'll
give it a little extra care, maybe even a sprinkle of compost tea. We'll say
YIP!!! to encourage it to show its true colors. And when harvest time comes,
we'll have a rainbow of veggies, all thanks to following the Proper Palette
Principle. Because eating your colors is not just good for you, it's a feast for
the eyes too!

NUMBER TWENTY AND ONE: The Delicious Dinner Directive
Yip yip, it's dinnertime, and that means following the DelICIOUS Dinner
Directive. This law is all about making our meals tasty and full of joy. We'll
use our best recipes to cook up our broccoli so it's just right. We'll invite
friends over and share our meals, making sure everyone gets a good helping of
happiness. If a dish doesn't turn out yummy, we won't be sad; we'll just try
again and also maybe be a little bit sad because when we don't eat we have empty
bellies and empty bellies are full of sadness. Also cooking is like growing a
garden!!! It takes patience and love. And when we finally sit down to eat,
we'll say a big yip yip yippity yooray for the food on our plates. A delicious
dinner is the best and it makes sure we're not sad! Yay for not being sad!!

NUMBER TWENTY TWO: The Beneficial Bushels Bill
And also!!! We got the Beneficial Bushels Bill. This law is all about sharing
the goodness of our gardens. We'll grow extra veggies to give away to folks who
need them like orphans or orphanages who don't got enough food to feed their
orphans and then that way the orphans won't be sad and that way since they're
not sad they'll be happy and then we're making the world better. We'll set up
stands where people can take what they need, no coins needed. Unless they're my
brocklis then you gotta pay unless you're an orphan. If our bushels start to
look a bit empty, we'll fill them up again with fresh picks. We'll teach
everyone to grow their own, too, spreading the seeds of kindness. And every time
we fill a bushel, we'll shout YIPPEE for the joy of giving. Sharing our harvest
is like sharing a little piece of our hearts. Except not exactly because giving
parts of our hearts away sounds REALLY painful.

NUMBER TWENTY THREE: The Trusty Tops Tenet
NEXT! Yip yip, it's time for The Trusty Tops Tenet! This law is all about the
tops of our broccoli. We want 'em big, green, and trusty. Every day, we'll check
the tops to make sure they're growing just right. We'll give 'em a little water,
a little sun, and a whole lot of love with a good speech like "you are doing
great I hope you keep growing don't let the mean broccolis from the Spirean
gardens bother you you are wonderful just the way you are okay we love you". If
a top looks a bit wobbly, we'll support it with a stick and a kind word, like
PICKLES! We'll tell stories to our broccoli tops, so they grow up strong and
true. And when we see a top that's grown up just right, we'll give a cheer and a
YIP for a job well done. Since trusty tops make for the best broccoli, and
that's what we're aiming for!

NUMBER ONE THIS ONE'S ACTUALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT: The Charred Broccoli Tastes
The Best Rule
Time for THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: The Charred Broccoli Tastes The Best Rule.
This one's a tasty treat! We all know a little char on our broccoli makes it
taste real good and if you don't know that now you do okay so here you go now
you know it you're WELCOME. So, we'll learn to cook our broccoli just right,
with a bit of a sizzle. We'll use a pan or maybe a grill to get those yummy,
crispy edges. If it doesn't char just right the first time, no worries we'll try
again but don't mess up a second time or you're wasting brocklis and that's not
okay and Whirran will yell at you he is scary but actually he is really nice
sometimes he used to pick me up so I can see better but now he's mad at me but
someday we'll be friends again because he's a good person and I'm a good person.
We'll share our charred broccoli with friends and family, and they'll say
yippee!!! for the deliciousness. And remember, a little char is good, but we
don't want it TOOOOO burnt, so keep an eye on it and enjoy the crunch! You'll
know it's perfect when it tastes good.

RULE NUMBER TWO: The Mirthful Morsels Measure
The Mirthful Morsels Measure is all about happy little bites. We want every
nibble of our broccoliS to be a mirthful moment. We'll cut our broccoli into fun
shapes, maybe like stars or hearts. We'll giggle as we eat, and we'll invite our
friends to join the fun. If a morsel isn't quite mirthful, we'll add a sprinkle
of cheese or a dip to jazz it up. We'll have morsel parties, where everyone
brings their happiest bites that they spat out instead of swallowing cause it
tasted super good and they wanted to share. And when we find the mirthfullest
morsel, we'll shout yay!! and have a laugh. Food is fun, and broccoli morsels
are the funnest of all!

RULAW NUMBER I FORGOT: The Vibrant Verdure Verdict
Alrighty, it's time for The Vibrant Verdure Verdict. This law says our veggies
gotta be vibrant, full of life and color. We'll tell stories about heroes to our
plants, dance around them, and maybe even paint our pots bright colors like
purple and orange and orange and purple and dark purple and bright orange and
dark orange and bright purple or orange and then purple squigglies or dots and
orange or orange and then some more orange. If a plant is looking a bit dull,
we'll give it a pep talk and maybe a new friend to grow next to. We'll have a
Vibrant Veggie Day, where we dress up in our most colorful clothes and celebrate
our plants. THEN when our garden is looking extra vibrant and when it's all done
growin, we'll all join in a big "yip yip" for the joy of growin and growin and
growin and growin and growin and growin and growin.

RULAW NUMBER THIRTY: The Flavorful Fronds Fun
And then also don't forget we also also got The Flavorful Fronds Fun. This law
is all about making our broccoli fronds taste amazing. We'll try new spices,
flakes of soap, new recipes, and maybe even some secret ingredients like sticks.
We'll have tasting contests to see whose fronds are the most flavorful. If a
frond is a bit bland, we'll mix up a new sauce or try a new cooking method.
We'll laugh and learn together, and when we hit on the perfect flavor, we'll do
a happy dance and yell YIPPEE!! Eating broccoli should be fun, and flavorful
fronds are the best kind of fun! Except when you get to visit the Heart of
Sapience, Euthymius, that's the best BEST SUPER BEST kind of fun. The Sacred
Heart is awesome did you know They made me Their first Adherent I love Them.

RULE NUMBER THIRTY ONE: The Robust Roots Resolution
Yip yip, let's get those roots strong! The Robust Roots Resolution is all about
giving our broccoli roots the best start. We'll make sure they're planted in
soft, cozy soil that's just like a warm bed. We'll water them with care, not too
much and not too little. If we see roots that look weak, we'll give them a
little root pep talk. We'll tell them, "don't worry! you can do it, grow deep
and wide!! don't give up!! You can keep growing!!!" We'll check on them every
day and sometimes twice a day when the day ends in Y, and when we see them
getting robust, we'll do a happy dance around the garden. Strong roots mean a
strong broccoli, and that's what we want! Strong brocklis mean a strong heart,
and strong heart mean we don't run out of blood when we fight vampires who want
to murder children cause they're feral and crazy!

RULE NUMBER THIRTY TWO: The Sincere Sprigs Series
Now, for the Sincere Sprigs Series. This law says we gotta treat every little
sprig of broccoli with sincerity and kindness. We'll talk to them honestly about
how they're growing and what they need. If a sprig is looking a bit lonely,
we'll plant a friend next to it. We'll make sure each sprig gets a fair share of
sun and shade. And when our sprigs grow up sincere and kind, we'll thank them
with a heartfelt "yip" and a gentle head-pat. That way when our sprigs are
sincere, our garden is a place of truth and joy. We like truth and joy, unless
you like lies, and if you like lies then well maybe you're not a super nice
person and that's not good maybe you should be a better person like Nawan he's a
great person I look up to him and not even cause he's tall.

ARTICLE LAW THIRTY THREE NUMBER A: The Applied A-delicious A-Broccoli A-rule
Yip yip, it's time for The Applied A-delicious A-Broccoli A-rule! This one's
easy: every broccoli dish we make has gotta be delicious. We'll use recipes that
are simple and tasty. We'll try a little of this and a little of that until it's
just right. If a dish isn't delicious yet, we won't give up; we'll keep trying
until it's a-delicious! We'll invite friends over to taste and if they give a
yip that means they love it and if they don't say yip you should burn everything
down and try all over again because it didn't work and what you did isn't good.
Then we'll remember, the secret ingredient is always a sprinkle of happiness.

RULAW THIRTY FOUR NUMBER: The Gleeful Green Great Not-Gross Growth Guide
NEXT!!!! let's talk about The Gleeful Green Great Not-Gross Growth Guide. This
law is all about growing our broccoli so it's gleeful and green, not gross at
all. We'll tell stories to our broccoli and give them names like Boube and Boube
or Boube and Boube Boube and also Boube or Boube, and even tell them jokes like
what's purple and sticky elephant poop. If a plant starts to look a little
gross, we'll clean it up, give it some fresh water, and maybe even a new spot to
grow. We'll have a guidebook with pictures of gleeful green broccoli, and we'll
follow it to the letter. And every time we pass by our gleeful greens, we'll
happily shout YIPPEE for how great they're growing!

RULAW NUMBER NUMBER THIRTY FIVE: The Lush Leaves Law
Then ALSO don't forget that we got The Lush Leaves Law. This one's all about the
leaves of our broccoli. We want them lush, like a forest in the springtime.
We'll check the leaves for bugs, for spots, and for anything that doesn't look
right like chaos or tentacles. If a leaf is struggling or looks even a little
bit suspicious or out of place or like it's been tampered with, we'll figure out
why and help it get lush again. We'll celebrate the lushest leaves with a little
party, complete with leafy decorations. Also we'll get rid of any bad leaves or
bad broccolis or suspicious broccolis! And when we see our broccoli leaves
looking extra lush, we'll say yay we did it and feel proud. Lush leaves mean a
happy plant, and happy plants aren't suspicious.

RULAW NUMBER THIRTY SIX ISH: The Pretty Broccoli Petals Policy
Yip yip, let's make our broccoli petals pretty as possible! This law says every
broccoli should have petals that make you smile wide. We'll water them with
gentle rain and sing to them with voices kind. If a petal looks a bit droopy,
we'll cheer it up with a tickle and a joke. We'll have a parade for the
prettiest petals, where everyone can see their beauty shine. And if a broccoli's
petals start to frown, we'll turn them upside down. That way they'll be happy!
Every petal deserves to feel pretty. We'll say yippee! to the pretty petals
every time we go to morning prayer, to start their day off bright! Even when
it's raining, cause the nice words will make them bright.

RULAW NUMBER THIRTY SEVEN I THINK MAYBE: The Fortified Florets Foundation
NEXT it's the The Fortified Florets Foundation. This law's all about making our
florets strong and sturdy. We'll feed them good food from the earth and give
them a sip of water when they're thirsty. If a floret's feeling weak, we'll give
it a little extra care, maybe even a cozy blanket of mulch. We'll teach the
little ones to be gentle with the florets, so they can grow up tough. And when
we see a floret standing tall, we'll shout YIPPEE for its strength. Tough
fortified florets make for a mighty fine broccoli, and we heckin love fine
broccolis they're real great broccolis are the best they taste good and they're
healthy and they're crunchy and they smell good.

RULE AND LAW NUMBER FORTY: The Great Genuine Greenness Guarantee
Yip yip, it's all about the green! The Great Genuine Greenness Guarantee ensures
our broccoli is the greenest in the land. We'll let them soak up the sun and
breathe in the fresh air. If a broccoli's looking a bit pale, we'll find out why
and help it get its green back. We'll have a greenness contest, with a prize for
the greenest of them all. And when our broccoli is so green it makes the grass
jealous, we'll give a big YIP YIP YOORAY. Genuine greenness in our broccoli
means it's healthy, happy, and just right! Remember that if it's not green
enough you can paint it and then it'll win the next greenness contest.

RULE LAW NUMBER FORTY ONE OR SO: The Not-Scary Broccoli Spears Strategy
Alrighty stay with me here, next let's talk about The Not-Scary Broccoli Spears
Strategy. This law makes sure our broccoli spears aren't scary at all, but
friendly and fun. We'll trim them so they're not too spiky and give them names
like "Sir Boube Spear-a-lot" or "Lady Boube the Floret." If a spear seems a bit
sharp, we'll soften it up with a kind word and a gentle touch and if that
doesn't work we'll chop it off and eat it. We'll have a day where we dress up
our brocklis spears in happy hats, so they look great, not scary. And when a
little youngster pup hugs a broccoli spear and says YIP we'll know we've done it
right. That's because not-scary spears mean more broccoli hugs and that also
means no hungry orphans.

RULE LAW NUMBER FORTY TWO: The Bountiful Buddies Blueprint
And then ALSO don't forget we got The Bountiful Buddies Blueprint. This law is
all about our garden friends helping each other grow. We'll pair up our
broccolis with buddy plants that make them stronger like other brocklis or maybe
carrots cause carrots and broklis taste good together. If a broccoli's lonely,
then maybe we'll introduce it to a new plant pal like another carrot or maybe a
flower I like flowers flowers are pretty. We'll throw buddy parties for everyone
where all the plants can make friends and also scorpions can explore. And when
we see our broccolis and their buddies thriving together, we'll do a supervised
buddy dance and shout yippee!! Bountiful buddies mean a bountiful garden, and
bountiful gardens means we're not doing anything bad it means things are great
and we didn't even have to do a horrible nippleful ritual.

RULE LAW NUMBER FORTY THREE: The Trustworthy Texture Thesis
Yip yip, it's time for The Trustworthy Texture Thesis! This law is all about the
feel of our broccoli. We want it to be just right not too tough, not too
squishy, and ABSOLUTELY NO NIPPLES. Every day, we'll give our broccoli a gentle
squeeze to check its texture. If it feels just right, we'll give a happy yay!!
and maybe even a big cheer like yip yip yooray. We'll make sure to water it but
not too much because then maybe Lady Slippy would get mad at us and we don't
want Her to be mad at us She is great and give it enough sun so it grows up with
the best texture. Punishment for a broccoli's texture being bad is that we won't
get mad. Instead we just give it some extra care or give it to someone we don't
like. That's cause when the texture's trustworthy, that broccoli's gonna be the
star of the dinner bowlplate! Also make sure to cut your brocklis into stars.

RULE LAW NUMBER FORTY FOURTY: The Scorpion-Synced Sprout Statutes
Now that we're almost done next let's talk about The Scorpion-Synced Sprout
Statutes. This law makes sure our little sprouts and scorpion pals are in sync.
We'll plant our sprouts in a way that makes a nice home for the scorpions. We'll
sing to them both and watch them grow up together. If a sprout or a scorpion
looks out of sync, we'll say yip and do what we can to help them get along like
tell them a story or tie them together. We'll have scorpion and sprout
playdates, where they can get to know each other better. And when we see them
living in harmony, we'll know we've done a good job.

RULAW NUMBER FORTY FIVE: The Jubilant Jades Judgment
Yip yip, it's time for The Jubilant Jades Judgment. This law is all about
keeping our broccoli a happy shade of jade green. We'll make sure they get the
right amount of sun and shade to keep that color just perfect. If a broccoli
starts to lose its greenness, we'll give it a little bit more water and paint.
We'll have a jade day, where we celebrate all the beautiful green in our garden.
And when our broccoli is the perfect shade of jubilant jade, we'll give a big
YAY and maybe even throw a garden party. We heckin love garden parties!!!

RULE NUMBER FORTY SIX: The Gourmet Greens Governancing
This one isn't hard, it's The Gourmet Greens Governancing. This law says that
every meal with our greens should be gourmet. That means we'll cook our broccoli
with care and flair and skill and will. We'll try new recipes and share them
with everyone. If a broccoli dish doesn't taste gourmet, you are going to prison
for the rest of your life until someone who knows how to cook like Rizarith or
Pietre teaches you how to make brocklis the right way because nobody should ever
waste brocklis. We'll have cooking contests to see who can make the tastiest
broccoli. And when we sit down to eat, we'll say "yip yip" for the gourmet meal
we've made. Brocklis aren't just food they're a way of life they're a whole
belief system they are life itself and if you don't like brocklis you're
probably a vampire and vampires are gross.

RULE NUMBER FIFTY: The Hearty Harvests For Healthy Orphans Who Need Food Because
Orphanages Are Bad Sometimes But Not All Orphanages Some Orphanages Are Maybe
Not So Bad But The One I Went To Was Bad Rule
This one's important!!! The Hearty Harvests For Healthy Orphans Who Need Food
law is all about sharing our bounty of wonderful brocklis. We'll grow extra
broccoli and take it to places where kids need good food. We'll make sure they
get the freshest, heartiest broccoli we can grow. If we have a lot, we'll share
a lot; if we have a little, we'll still share. We'll teach the kobold pups how
to grow their own broccoli too. And when we see them eating and smiling, we'll
know we've done good. Cause then we know they aren't hungry and being hungry is
the worst it's even worse than being lonely being hungry is having an empty
belly and being lonely is having an empty heart and both of those suck.

RULE-LAW NUMBER FIFTY ONE: The Authentic Aroma Arrangement
ALRIGHT stick with me here for The Authentic Aroma Arrangement! This law is all
about the smell of our broccoli. We want it to smell fresh and earthy, just like
a garden after the rain. Every day, we'll give our broccoli a good, LONG sniff
to make sure it's smelling right. If it smells a bit off, we'll figure out why
and fix it up by setting it on fire the way we burn vampires. NO SUSPICIOUS
BROCKLIS ARE ALLOWED TO BE EATEN they have to smell right and if they don't
smell right remember we burn them. We'll use natural stuff like spit to keep the
aroma nice. And when our broccoli smells just right, we'll take a deep breath,
say yippee and feel happy inside. That's cause a good-smelling broccoli smells
good and we like things that smell good.

RULE NUMBER ALSO FIFTY TWO: The Happy Broccoli Happy Orphans Rule
Alright everyone, this one's about the Happy Broccoli Happy Orphans. This means
that happy orphans get happy broccolis and it means that mean orphans starve to
death very sadly. Also happy broccolis are broccolis that are charred a little
they're real tasty and they like being eaten because that makes them happy, so
happy broccoli being eaten by happy orphans makes extra happiness in the world
because those are two happy things and then if you do the math like Whirran
taught us then they add up to extra happiness and then that goes to the world
and it makes everything better so we make sure to feed happy brocklis to happy
orphans to make the world a better place.

LAW-RULE NUMBER FIFTY THREE: The Merry Models Mandate
Next we got The Merry Models Mandate. This law is all about growing our broccoli
to be merry models of the veggie world. We want them to be the kind of veggies
that other veggies look up to. We'll make sure they get plenty of sun, water,
and love. If a broccoli starts to look a bit sad, we'll tell it a joke to make
it merry again. We'll have a merry model of the month, and the winner gets a
special spot in the garden. And when our broccoli is looking extra merry, we'll
tell it YIP YIP YOORAY and maybe even throw a garden party where it can invite
all its brockli friends and tell everyone stories and stand on a box and
everyone can see us present it with the merry model winner thingie also we need
to design a merry model winner thingie.

LAW-RULE NUMBER FIFTY FOUR: The Blanket Rule For Broccolis
Okay so remember when you just left the orphanage and it was kind of sad and
scary and you were worried you wouldn't even make friends or nothin so you found
things to sleep under cause you didn't wanna sleep in the snow? That's how
broccolis feel when you make them sleep in the snow outside so now it's a rule
that all broccolis gotta be covered by a blanket when it snows outside so that
way they aren't cold if you don't put a blanket on your broccolis you are going
to prison for the rest of your life okay?

Love,
Boube

Penned by my hand on Quensday, the 1st of Dharos, in the year 4 AC.