Hello dear friends!

I'm hosting a SUPER COOL Stratesnacks competition where I encourage my allies to come up with some super cool deadly strategies! We need more motivation, though, so I thought it'd be a great idea to start a war! As an OFFICIAL and RECOGNIZED free Kobold of the city-state-thing Spinesreach, I invite all who would stand in opposition to FIGHT.

I hear a lot of you talking about how you'll burn us or conquer this or that, but so far it all just sounds like talk. I don't BELIEVE you. I think you really just want to make your Gods like you! Why, I think you're like... like... nose-pickers! Prove me wrong by challenging Spinesreach! (Except Duiran, I like you guys. You guys aren't nose-pickers.)

We will fight anyone, even two of you at once! We fear nothing! We will rule the world and with it everything that's ever existed! None will stand against our scorpions! None will threaten to take away our snacks! Forever shall we stand for what we believe in, whatever that is! Forever shall we fight for what is and will be ours! Never shall we surrender unless we surrender!

Now begins the Age of War. Come forth and be slapped by my gauntlet! (P.S. Sheryni I need a gauntlet).

Love,
Boube

Penned by my hand on Quensday, the 23rd of Haernos, in the year 0 AC.