The Carnifex Unwanted Child Adoption Program

Are you a parent who can scarcely afford to feed themselves, let alone a whining, screaming child? Are you a noble who was a little careless in an alleged scandal and ended up cursed with an immaculate burden? Are you someone who otherwise finds themselves in possession of a child, baby, or otherwise tiny, vaguely-humanoid creature?

Do you wish you could turn that burden into a boon?

The Carnifex have a SOLUTION for YOU.

Through the Carnifex Unwanted Child Adoption Program, YOU can turn that BABY into GOLD.

Relieve yourself of an unwanted burden, and, to boot, fill your pockets with enough food to eat for the week*, all the while knowing that your spawn will have a bright future** filled with purpose*** and determination.

Contact Lieutenant Tetchta V. Mesis for details!

*the Carnifex are not responsible for local market prices
**future brightness may be dependent on performance and mitigating acts of the Gods that are outside the control of the Carnifex--the Carnifex make no guarantees on the longevity of any relinquished sentients that may result from training mishaps, angry Eidolons, rabid canines, minotaur negligence, or hungry vampires
***purposes may include: taking Command of the Iron Keep, guard duty, practice dummy, dog food, and feces captain

Penned by my hand on Tisday, the 8th of Variach, in the year 502 MA.