TIDINGS,

If you are at all like me, and read the public news once every few years or so - congratulations, this post is for you. I've saved you the hassle of reading the last three years of public tidings, and you can find the quick-and-dirty analysis directly below for the utmost in time-savings.

Total Public Tidings since Lanosian 5, 465 MA: 61

Meta-Analysis
=============

Delve being generally helpful about weird Pylon stuff: 1
Job posting that may or may not be a personals ad: 1
Iron Epicurean announcements: 4
Random nicety by what's-her-name: 1
Invitations to classy tea parties: 1
Esterport lease announcements: 1
Racetrack announcements: 2
---------------------------
Total Helpful and/or Generally Agreeable Public Announcements: 11

Gallant family drama: 3
People seeking families of their own so they might one day have family drama of their own: 1
Vampires who secretly wish they were actual families asking everyone to pay attention to their flavor of drama: 1
--------------------------
Total Family Drama posts: 5

Issues of the Spirean Gazette: 3
The Kalak-Syssin-Sciomancer grudgematch of the century: 5
Shachalai singlehandedly verbally-sparring everyone: 11
That guy who has Shachalai's back: 1
Shadowy figures being personally victimized by Shachalai: 11
--------------------------
Total Who Can Even Keep Up With These Guys Anymore Posts: 31

Chakrasulians craving attention: 5
People RSVP'ing "no thanks" to the Spiral of Melodramatic Cliches: 6
Chakrasulian "Why don't you love me" sulks: 3
-------------------------
Total Chakrasulian Examples of Low Self-Esteem: 14


I think the facts speak for themselves: we're sorely suffering from lack of personal family drama representating the public newsboard.

To remedy this, the dur Naya brood hereby officially challenge the Morrog family to a drink-off. The Morrogs may historically have crafted some of the most famous brews of recent history, but can they chug as good as they sling? I will await your acceptance or your shameful declination until the end of next month or whenever my attention lapses again, whichever comes sooner.

Proceeds from the event will go towards replenishing the spent coffers of the Shachalai Public Post Fund, because seriously, how are you not broke constantly?

- E. S. N.

Penned by my hand on Falsday, the 6th of Lanosian, in the year 468 MA.