Dear Council of Chumps,

Your little planthopper stunt has spurred the growth and emergence of a new, more resilient breed of pincher on my city's streets. Since this is your fault, I'll be expecting a few of yous to come clean up your mess every week. Until I see this become a regular practice, the killings will continue.

You had every opportunity to simply hand back what you took, and now you'll learn what happens when you decide to make a feeble attempt at being clever.

See you soon (but you won't see me),

Fezzix

Penned by my hand on Falsday, the 15th of Variach, in the year 458 MA.