Illidan!

I had no idea you felt that way about me! Your love does me honor,
though I would appreciate some sweet token of your devotion to put your
amorous feelings in proper, material perspective. Too often I have heard
of you professing devotion to your loved ones, only to later rebuff them
with your carelessness and indifference. When men look upon you, as
well, they see only a blank slate, devoid of remarkable feature, free of
anything so strong and potent as memorability. Why Illidan, I am
honored, but I will not consent to your affections unless you present me
with a favor or a ring. I am, after all, a traditionalist.

While I am indubitably glad you've decided to stop attacking our
wormholes, you will have to do more than that to win my wanton heart. I
am not easily pleased! I must be wooed! I must be dined! This offering
of horror and pain you propose is nothing to my shock at realizing you
have no idea how to conduct yourself in the ruthless game of love. Kill
me. My heart is already broken by your hamfisted flirtations.

Concerning the nexus: It does not belong to the Syssin Defenders, though
we make no small effort to maintain it. It is, in fact, public property,
for the common use and for the common good. Whether you wield a mighty,
shaking stick that lets you cleave through dimensional walls, or possess
training from the Defenders, the nexus is intended for you, and if you
wish to help defend it against possible attack in the future, the Syssin
Defenders would welcome your aid or your information.

As for you, Illidan! I will never, in all my days, forget this
unprecedented, horrific display of monstrosity. Chivalry truly has died,
and you were its executioner!

I stand dismayed,
Elanth Ishilind

Penned by my hand on the 6th of Severin, in the year 335 MA.