Aetolian Game News
The Battle of the Brides
Written by:
Date: Monday, November 11th, 2024
Addressed to: Everyone
On this day, battle raged within the Vilimo Estate with the Watcherwife Lin emerging victorious over her opponents.
A full battlefield report follows:
Bride 1, Lin the Watcherwife.
- Achieved victory by crushing her opponents with drama, intrigue and MOST Intimidating Eyeroll.
- Slew a total of 6 of her enemies.
- Maintained a presence of 4 hours and 30 minutes upon the bridal battlefield.
- Their most bloodthirsty rival was Paxe Visara, Courter of Ruin, who narrowly missed a victory at 40 points.
Bride 2, Paxe Visara, Courter of Ruin.
- Slew a total of 5 of her enemies.
- Maintained a presence of 4 hours and 29 minutes upon the bridal battlefield.
- Narrowly missed a victory at 40 points, with strongest showings in Brooding Pose, Funerary Couture, Most Dramatic Cape Fling and Most Artistic Bloodletting.
Bride 3, Valys Vestri, the Oathbound.
- Slew a total of 4 of her enemies.
- Maintained a presence of 4 hours and 28 minutes upon the bridal battlefield.
- Snapped her teeth viciously at both Lin and Paxe's heels at 35 points with strongest showings in Most Brooding Pose, Most Intimidating Eyeroll and Most Dramatic Cape Fling.
Bride 4, Iadora Visara, the Infinitely Graceful.
- Slew a total of 1 of her enemies, tangled in a tawdry bridal tangle with 3 enemies.
- Maintained a presence of 4 hours and 27 minutes upon the bridal battlefield.
- Sashayed through the contests with a deathly grace that would make even Beladonna envious, earning a total of 20 points with strongest showings in Most Brooding Pose, Funerary Couture, and Most Dramatic Cape Fling.
Bride 5, Myrnma Visara, the Tyrant's Bloodflower.
- Slew a total of 1 of their enemies, tangled in a tawdry bridal tangle with 3 enemies.
- Maintained a presence of 4 hours and 27 minutes upon the bridal battlefield.
- Spun their savagery in terrible terpsichore upon the Vilimo dance floor, earning a total of 20 points with strongest showings in Most Artistic Bloodletting, and Most Dramatic Cape Fling.
Bride 6, Xynialle, the Blood-iron Reaper.
- Slew a total of 1 of her enemies, tangled in a tawdry bridal tangle with 3 enemies.
- Maintained a presence of 4 hours and 27 minutes upon the bridal battlefield.
- Violently dominated the Till-Death Duel, with strongest, ever-so-dramatic showings in Most Dramatic Cape Fling.
Bride 7, Yesufa Button, the Vengeful Alto Gnome
- A darling diva who sang before the curtain was up, her overwhelming enthusiasm earning disqualification.
- Maintained a presence of 4 hours and 10 minutes upon the bridal battlefield.
- Proved that small things can indeed be large, her strongest showings in Most Dramatic Cape Fling and Most Intimidating Eye Roll.
The battle lasted for 4 hours and 30 minutes, with a victory condition of Bride with the most points at the end of the time limit.
This notice was posted on the 17th of Lexadian, in the year 7 AC.