Here I am crying over nothing,
While staring into something,
Always in the backlines,
As calm as a heartbeat that flatlines
Existing in a eternal state of torpor
I once believed my life was worth more

Even in a crowed room,
Despair fixes its stare on me
And whispers
Soon.

I try to confine what I feel inside,
I don't like my life this way,
Why the hell should I stay?
What I seek I can never find,
It exists in a place divine,
Somewhere out of my control
A place my soul cannot patrol.

The only thing that seperates me from death,
Could easily be rectified with a sword to the head.
Is it suicide I feel inside?
Because I can't help but dread,
That even if I had all my wasted days back,
I wouldn't be able to get my sorry life back on track.

Heart and soul I wanted to believe,
That one day I would cease to grieve,
Buy now I cannot see what is left of me
This existence is a tragedy.
I may as well become a wisp in the clouds
A corpse in the ground,
As each moment I linger here
I only succeed to prove my fears.

A hint of woe is all it takes,
To tain what joy I struggle to make,
You may aswell prepare my wake
As here I am going to make my biggest mistake.

How can a sole emotion like love be so out of reach?
When the ability to end my life is within my hands,
Hate me now,
It's the only chance you will get
Before I create a scene you will never forget
Don't tell me what I want to hear
Take your fear
Pump me up
I am fed up
No longer at night will you hear my screams...

...*gurgle*...

~Rowena Krogh-Ravenbeauty

Penned by my hand on the 1st of Arios, in the year 171 MA.