i try to choose which would be best
staying here with you or leaving

we both know what leaving means...
and you say you don't want that
yet you push me constantly to that point
do you not believe i will go?
just because you stopped me once?
see, that only made me smarter,
i now know when not to leave
and when is best to try
to stay would mean i let you rule me
how can i let that be?
who would i be then?
another run down, mirror image of yourself?
some cellophanic figurine of you?
contemplating others? wondering who is next?
shall i turn my kids into
more lustful, skillfully hating patrons?
shall i see them driven as insane as me?
should i watch them dive deeper into themselves
like you watched me?
do you think i could smile then,
the way you did?
do you think i could get a pat on the back,
for a job well done?
swim back to your own nightmares
i would leave before i ever
let you hurt me again


Penned by my hand on the 11th of Slyphian, in the year 135 MA.