To the most just and reasonable authorities of Esterport,

Restless days and sleepless nights spent at the bottom of a bottle. The oppressive feeling within me churning, becoming worse, consuming me just as the celestial lights danced above, each new cosmic sound or flash of colour an ill omen that troubled me to the bone.

How am I to blame then that I sought increasingly more dire heights of escapism? Anything to keep my mind off the looming dread, I'd pursue. Fights, drinks, questionable substances and of course, warm flesh against my own.

The heavens churned, Aetolia itself groaned and I was an unfortunate victim of circumstances beyond my control. I scrambled to disentangle myself from the sensual web I found myself in, to reach for my clothes to witness what was unfolding, but alas. Reality blinked, and I found myself arse-naked in the middle of a wedding ceremony, the groom's minty lips upon my own in place of the bride he was set to live the rest of his life with.

I formally dispute the claims that I intentionally caused this ruckus. The reports of my indecency are greatly exaggerated, and I beseech the fair authorities of Esterport to relieve me of my considerable fine.

Yours truly,
- Ralir


Penned by my hand on Quensday, the 1st of Arios, in the year 511 MA.