I've got lots of great things about me that you didn't know! You should hire me, Hoube!

Not only do I know how to steel (the apprentices taught me), I also know how to steal (prior experience)!

I do all of the responsibilities. Sometimes I even do more than one of them per day!

I've got loads of experiencing as a professional stealer, which is almost the same thing. Is there still an opening in the banditry department? I would also like to apply for that job too! Also I'm real great at talking and know all of my directions! There's up down left right in out forwards backwards reverse! Wait we can't swim in the steel? What's the point of it being all goopy? Can we discuss this during my interview?

Do I get all the benefits already? Wow cool! I've already been stealing the apprentices' snacks, now I get extra! You sure know how to win me over! Yay!

I am submitting my letters of interest here (see above, I used lots of them).

From a desk I totally didn't steal and found,
Hoube
TRASH Quartermaster
Master of Trinkets
Bandit Hopeful
Steelworks Foreperson
Enemy to Ophidians Everywhere
Combat Roll Enthusiast

PS I'm still accepting Ophidian corpses because one of them stole my steak one time, so now they all gotta go down!

Penned by my hand on Tisday, the 11th of Dharos, in the year 6 AC.