Dear Kobolds,

I extend my very big apologies to all the Kobolds affected by the current tragedies unfolding in Rock Bottom. It was never my intention to bring calamity (the bad kind) onto my kin, and I regret that the situation seems to be getting worse.

Seeing this terrible Ophidian crisis unfold is really hurting my heart. So, in a bid to fix things, I'm prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice. I'm offering my life (just the once) in the sincere hope that this war will end, and the good Kobolds (if you are one, you know) will be spared further suffering, like death and snack deprivation (that means no snacks). I will even give up my share of the steaks.

But know this, the truth about these matters will not be buried, and justice will eventually be served.

Sorry, I feel really bad. Here's to a more united Kobold people in the coming weeks.

Love,

- I still don't have a desk
T.R.A.S.H. General Noube, going to get beheaded but still hopeful

Penned by my hand on Falsday, the 22nd of Haernos, in the year 5 AC.